However, one question makes all these pale by comparison. A question that makes the others seem as insignificant as an argument on an elementary school playground with each side arguing either nu'uh, or yeah'hu, a question that has driven many great minds to madness, that question is, Is it possible to unmake chocolate milk?
You can almost see the insanity in his eyes.
Well, today marks a glorious day for mankind! Today, the question will finally be answered, for today, we will attempt to unmake chocolate milk!
The following is a record of notes taken while the experiment was preformed.
8:00am: I woke this morning with excitement and dread in my heart, today, today we would finally gain an answer. I went to my refrigerator and removed the milk and bottle of chocolate. Steeling myself for what was to come, I mixed them together in a plastic bottle, knowing full well that I may never be able to separate them.
9:00am: I arrived at work and tried to go about my daily routine, but I was unable to focus on my work. The bottle was sitting on a lab bench, almost as if it was staring at me, inviting me, teasing me, mocking me.
STOP MOCKING ME MILK!!!
Finally I could bear it no longer, I had to have my answer. I took two test tubes and filled them with the sweet and creamy substance. The sight of the test tubes, sitting like two giant chocolatey obelisks almost made me lose my resolve. But I had made my decision long ago, I knew what must be done.
The most intimidating thing I have ever seen.
I took the samples and placed them in a centrifuge. All evidence suggested that the centrifuge would separate out the milk from the denser chocolate syrup, but I knew enough to know that I was dealing with forces greater than I could imagine. With a silent prayer I turned the centrifuge up to it's max speed and set a timer for 1 hour. In one hour I would have my answer.
May God have mercy on us.
9:30am: I feel like a child who is not sure if he has been good or not lying in bed on Christmas eve. I am brimming with excitement, knowing that I will soon have my answer, but I am also filled with dread knowing that instead of brightly wrapped gifts, I may only receive a lump of black and gritty coal.
Half an hour, I'm not sure I can stand the anticipation.
10:00am: My hand trembling, I turned off the centerfuge. This was the moment I had been wating for. I slowly opened the centerfuge lid and removed the sample, and in a blast of rapture I saw a clump of dark syrup at the bottem of the tube, white creamy milk above it.
Pictured: Dark clump of syrup and white creamy milk.
I had done it, at long last I had my answer. I had once and for all answered the question that so many before me had strived for. I was overcome with emotion, I fell down on my knees, and wept.
